Evolution is a moron

I was watching Sunrise Earth this morning while eating my Nut and Honey.(thank god for honey...otherwise that sentence would be weird)

They were showing a bunch of butterflies (which contain zero butter, by the way) and one of the butterflies was called an owl butterfly. It had these really cool wings with about 6 or 7 yellow and black circles on them. The circles looked just like owl eyes. These would be a great defense against small animal predators because the small animals would see the wings and think it was looking at a mean old owl.

That would be a great concept if owls had 6 or 7 eyes.

Nice try evolution. Owls have 2 eyes...not 6 or 7. How many butterflies have to die before you learn how many eyes owls have? This little problem should only take you a couple trillion years to fix.

Evolution is such a lazy dumbass. Never mind the ticking time-bomb called an appendix I have hanging around my insides, how about some Webbed feet?

My separate toes do nothing for me? Why do I have to swim so slow with these stupid separated toes? I thought evolution was supposed to fix this shit.

Why do we have to put shoes on horses, evolution? Why do dogs need sweaters? Aren't you giving them enough fur? How come my brother needed braces? I keep watching antelope getting caught from behind by cheetahs. You gave the cheetahs super-booster thighs....what do you have against the antelopes? You antelope racist.

I can't wait until all of the antelopes are gone and some nut-job preservationist is blaming Man.

It's your fault evolution. Step it up.

And when are trees going to learn to run away from fire and lumberjacks? No problem evolution. I'll learn to hold my breath for an eternity. Who needs oxygen. Fucking retard.

How about some telepathy evolution? Do you know how much phones cost?Ever been to Canada, evolution? It's like 17 bucks to make a phone call. Every time I get shot, bullets rip through my skin. Nice skin evolution. Bullets were invented, like, 300 years ago...and my skin is still not bulletproof.

And where are the flying cars evolution? Where the fuck are the flying cars?

You're a piece of shit process.