Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Hi Idiot

I know you're busy being an idiot, but I noticed that you're getting a lot of money for that frivolous lawsuit that helped to ruin our country, and I would like a chunk of that.

You'll notice that I've put together this ridiculous jingle in an attempt to burn my phone number into your brain. This way, when you're boyfriend/girlfriend sleeps with your brother/sister and you want a new Camaro to make them jealous, you'll know exactly who to call to get the ten grand that would have been spread over numerous monthly payments.

It's way quicker than watching through your rear view mirror for someone to be distracted and then slamming your brakes to cause their car to slam into the back of your car and then suing them. That could take years. You want that Camaro now!

I'll just give you less money in exchange for your more money, immediately. Everyone wins. Except for the amount of people who lose. Which is, eventually, everybody.

Please don't forget my phone number.