Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Extinction of Bit-O-Honey

When I was 8-years old, I attended my first hockey game at Memorial Auditorium in Buffalo. The Sabres beat Quebec 9-to-5. My brother Jim brought a bag of Bit-O-Honey candy as a snack. This marks the last time I have eaten a Bit-O-Honey candy.

They still sell Bit-O-Honey candy, so people must be eating it, but I fear that most of these people will soon be dead; not because Bit-O-Honey is poisonous but because the people who buy and eat Bit-O-Honey's are usually upwards of 90.

The market for Bit-O-Honey has to be shrinking. We may be approaching the extinction of the Bit-O-Honey.

I guess that could change. Maybe some teenage dreamboat will get caught munching Bit-O-Honey in his tour camper and all of the kids will suddenly crave lightly-sweetened chunks of glue. Isn't that how these things work?

I was on the Bit-O-Honey wikipedia page earlier. It took awhile to load because so many people across the globe were also visiting that same page. Apparently, Bit-O-Honey was originally a giant bar of toffee, not intended to be sold in bite-sized pieces. The regression is obvious. There's nowhere else to go for the Bit-O-Honey franchise.

Bit-O-Honey is a terrible name. Who names a product after it's 8th most abundant ingredient? They didn't name 'Count Chocula', 'Count Salt-ula'!
On the back of a bag of Bit-O-Honey, 'Honey' is listed, ahead of 'Salt' and 'Dried Egg Whites'. I'm guessing 'Bit-O-Dried Egg Whites' wouldn't have sold as well.

While on the wikipedia page for Count Chocula, I found this gem:

"Franken Berry was very popular when first introduced possibly because the initial batches of the cereal used a dye that didn't break down in the body, causing many children's feces to be bright pink, a symptom sometimes referred to as "Frankenberry Stool."

If you need me, I'll be at the store buying Frankenberry. I'm told they still sell it at the Walmart on Transit.