Super Bowl Commercial Recap

Did you guys see the Super Bowl? I missed a lot of the game so I could take notes and give you this commercial recap because my boss respects me about as much as any of my ex-girlfriends do.

Before I recap the highlarity that resulted from millions of dollars of marketing research and CG technology, let us first take a look at where things went wrong. Football used to be a game of skill, finesse and cheating. Did you know that the very first professional football game played in 1892 wasn't even on television? Now, we have two weeks where every piece of meaningless drivel robotically delivered by an uncaring millionaire is sent directly to your phone.

There are people who view the big event specifically for the commercials. Watching the Super Bowl for the commercials is like making love for the exercise. Exercise should be third on your list behind 'procreation' and ahead of 'spite'. The Super Bowl should be watched for the football....and the gambling.

I guess I shouldn't complain. If Danica Patrick wants to pretend like she's almost going to get naked every year, I should just sit back and enjoy it. Here is your commercial recap:

- Super Bowl XLIV commercial breaks started out with a bang. Apparently, Russell Crowe is going to play Robin Hood. My immediate concern was over the threat of a possible comeback of that Bryan Adams song. Then I realized the 'Kevin Costner' Robin Hood came out almost twenty years ago. I feel old.

- I wonder if the people behind the advancement in Cinematography and special effects realize all of the trailblazing work that they've done led to Betty White being tackled in a Snicker's pick-up football game. If so, I hope that they're proud. That was a 'Win'.

- This year featured a large number of Ads with people smacking each other. I'm sure we'll find out, forty years from now, that our society is more violent because of Superbowl XLIV. The commercial with the little kid smacking his mother's date was a little jarring. I'm sure the good people at Doritos are busy reading letters today. The Doritos funeral commercial featuring a guy in a coffin full of Doritos watching football may have been the winner on Sunday.

- When I was 9, the Superbowl Shuffle was the greatest thing that ever happened, so it was hard for me to hate it yesterday. I do know that, if winning a Superbowl requires a dozen or so knee surgeries and the need for a Rascal Scooter at the age of 50, I'm glad I stunk at football.

- There wasn't a single person in my gathering of friends who isn't at least a little creped out by the E-trade babies. The commercial did lead to a heat discussion about 'Look Who's Talking' and whether or not it was 'cool' for a 12-year old boy to go see that movie at the theatre with his parents. Apparently, I'm not cool.

- The Saints won.