Ants Are Stupid

know what you guys are thinking, "Another Ant blog??!"

I know, I know...this is the last one. I promise.

I was setting up ant traps in one of the rooms in my house today and it got me to thinking about ants. (Normally, I only think about them when I beat off.)

In some ways, ants are amazing.
These ants can smell a grain of sugar from 3 million miles away. I tested this theory by placing some sugar on Neptune.
Ants lift 100 times their own body weight..which would be way more impressive if they weighed more than .00001 Lbs.
They have an exo-skeleton. How bad-ass would it be to have your skeleton on the outside of your body? You wouldn't even need X-rays!
They have segmented bodies and I don't have anything clever to say about segmented bodies.

Ants are pretty stupid though. You can kill a whole colony of them with an ant trap. How would you like to be the pathetic worker drone ant that brings the poison back to the Queen to eat?:

Worker Ant- (bowing)- "Hey, your eminence. I brought something delicious for you to eat.. I hope you like it, your Highness."

Queen Ant- (frowning)- "Dude! Is that Poison?"

Worker Ant- "I don't think so. It smells really good. I got this from a really cool hotel looking thing. The food was just sitting inside."

Queen- "What do you mean 'Hotel'? Was it a giant man-sized Hotel? Because they don't build Hotels for Ants."

Worker Ant- "I don't know. It was just sitting in the corner under a computer desk. That huge dude was playing Civilization IV again. He's a fucking dork."

Queen- "Why is it blue."

Worker Ant- "I don't know...it's blue food."

Queen- "Alright, I'll eat it. My 4,000 kids are starving and their Dad died and was carried off by one of those sick fuck ants who carry around dead ants. But if its poison, I'm gonna get one of my warrior ants to eat the sides of your face off with those cool claw teeth."

Worker Ant- "Laters."

That's just a look into the lives of Ants. Hope you enjoyed.