I did, however, manage to push all of my chips to the center of the table last night and say, "I am not watching Jason Meznick's (a.k.a. the Bachelor) wedding!" My wife, realzing how serious I was when she saw the tears in my eyes, agreed to tape it and watch it another time.
It was a bluff. I would have watched it.
As a matter of fact, I did click Jason Meznick's wedding on for 38 seconds. I saw a ton of rain and a bunch of women screaming over shoes. I am so glad that I did not watch it.
Fortunately for you, the reader, my friend Cheryl never misses it when a complete d-bag ties the knot of T.V. and she might just hate the show more than I do.
So, here is Cheryl's recap of the Jason and Molly wedding:
On the wings of: Greg didn't want to watch the Bachelor wedding, so a bitter single girl wrote his blog.....HA
Yesterday at 10:52pm
I gotta admit, being 36 and single, I watch The Bachelor because I enjoy seeing people getting dumped on TV and then laughing at them when they cry. It really ads a special kind of joy to my life because I am not them. ABC has now decided to use two hours of time to show the wedding of contestants Jason and Molly. I was totally hoping for the bride to fall or lots of rain. Sorry, but someone had to say it.
Chris Harrison started the show by saying this was going to be “the event of a lifetime”. Oh, OK. He totally forgot to say it was gonna be dramatic, maybe the most dramatic wedding ever. They had the wedding in Seattle---outdoors---in the rain capital of the world. The drama was brewing. Awesome.
Of course, first they had to show the drama of the wedding preparations, which included Jason and Molly sitting apart from each other in a park, each staring into a land far far away while contemplating those mean tabloids. This of course made them cry on cue and wipe away the tears. Naturally, this is what most couples do before their wedding. “Hey honey, forget the shower and the bachelor party. We don’t need that crap. Let’s individually stare at the sky or something.”
While discovering what it was like to actually LIVE together, they discovered fascinating information! Jason declared, “I forgot how much STUFF people have!” Molly added, “I brought my own vase instead of using a pitcher for the flowers!” They are sooooo intriguing. Then they made brownies. That part was OK.
Yeah, I knew they were gonna bring back the former couples to let everyone know how successful the bachelor series REALLY is, even though this is the 2nd wedding in like 100 tries. Jake and his dude girlfriend Vienna talked about Jake kissing lots of girls, their perfect love and how they are big fans of Jason and Molly. Jake said “hopefully” they can follow in the footsteps of the other couple. Yeah, they are totally not getting hitched. Four other couples no one cares about talked about how they enjoy each other…..Yada, yada, yada. Personally, I just think they were tryin to steal some wedding thunder.
One of the more compelling parts of the two hour special was the families. Everyone got along during the wedding planning. No one fought about who was getting invited, gift registries or seating charts. Buncha phonies.
They actually did decide to have a bachelor and bachelorette party combo in Vegas. That is where they showed the world they are boring. Molly whined a bit about not wanting a stripper to show her how to move for her man. He is so lucky. Then Jason cried. I think I fell asleep for a while. They were still in Vegas. The producers tried to shake things up a bit by telling Jason to stare into a fountain outside the hotel and think about life. Molly found him and declared that was most romantic place in the whole world. I declared single life suddenly not so bad.
They returned to the wedding site and talked about shoes and hair. Then Jason cried. Then it rained and stopped and rained again. I was happy at this point during a commercial break, to see George Clooney and a singing cartoon trying to sell paper towels.
Then it at least got amusing when Chris Harrison kept bringing in a receiving line of rejected men and women from past seasons. Apparently the show needed seat fillers. Then some umbrellas turned inside out. Oh, I forgot to mention the wedding planner talked about not having a “plan B” locale for the first time ever in case of rain---in friggin rain capital of the world Seattle. Hmmmm.
Oh, he did not. Yes, he did. Host Man Chris actually referred to this as one of the most anticipated weddings of ALL TIME. He was somewhat correct. We wanted to anticipate the wedding to be over. But not before Jason cried----again, which he did.
The poems were read, the I dos were said, and then the vows were at the perfect timing for the producers - as it down poured all over the bride, as the groom tried to cover her hair with his little man hands. Um, no one had an umbrella to cover the bride and her $40,000 dress---in friggin rainy Seattle?
Yeah, they’re married. Woo friggin hoo. I cant wait for the next round of characters that get assembled for the Bachelorette in May. We all need more people to laugh at.
With all that said, I guess I do want to get married one day. I mean, tick-tock already. I just won’t get married in Seattle---to a guy who cries all the time---in a ceremony produced by a show called “The Bachelor”. That’s gotta be a bad omen.