Nicknames

About 15 years ago, I was at a family picnic shooting hoops with a distant relative that I didn't really know. For some reason I felt like lying so, when he asked me what my name is, I said, "My name is Greg...but my left leg is a little longer than my right leg...so my friends call my stretch."It was just a horrible random lie that I didn't even plan on telling.

I think my brain called an audible in an attempt to seem interesting.Well, the guy was nice enough to call me "stretch" throughout our grueling game of HORSE and I felt cool for 15 minutes. Then, as my brother walked over, I started to panic over the idea of this complete stranger calling me "stretch" in front of him and uncovering my lie. So, right before Mike got there I said, "Don't call me stretch!" in kind of an angry, frantic tone.

Needless to say, we didn't stay in touch.

That 15 minutes was the closest I've ever come to having a nickname. They're not the kind of thing you can just give yourself and still be a respectable member of society.

I have rejected a couple of nicknames people tried to give me throughout my life:
- Purple (when this kid punched me in the stomach and knocked the wind out of me)
- Gimpy
- Red
- Mr. Marvelous

And, if someone out there wants to initiate, I've always been partial to these for nicknames:
- Captain Pain Bringer
- Ebsen Flows
- Poseidon

Just keeping you informed.