(Please don’t let it be Mickey.)
The group flies to Fiji so that Ashley can have sex with the guys and then dump one of them. There is very little actual content remaining on the show so ABC spends a lot of time recapping the same crap we’ve already seen. It’s not fair. I have no content to write about but I don’t repeat myself and, I never repeat myself, ever. I always keep things fresh and never repeat stuff. Even last paragraph, I wrote about one of the contestants coming back. Do you guys remember that? I wrote about how one of the contestants is coming back.
We begin our journey with Ryan coming back to stalk Ashley. I’d love to go on about how he’s a stalker and a psycho but there’s no way ABC didn’t put him up to this. This show is a miracle. They have zero respect for their viewers. I am glad that Ryan is back because he never finished extolling the benefits of tankless water heaters. People really do need to be aware of tankless water heaters. My computer doesn’t even recognize ‘tankless’ as a word.
Ryan begs Ashley to take him back. Ashley hears him out with a lot of head nodding. It’s clear that she’s a bit freaked out by his return. He gives her his room number in Fiji and asks her to think things over. Then he goes outside so cameras can capture him thinking by a waterfall.
Their date begins with a helicopter ride and it’s about damn time. There has been almost no helicopter action this season.
I raise my hand at home and say, “Because there is no content in this soulless venture that has gone 8 seasons too long!” Ashley interrupts my answer and talks about how important the fake rose ceremony will be to give the guys another chance to dump her. I’m paraphrasing, but that’s exactly what she says. She says that she wants to give the two remaining contestants one last chance to dump her. I know I just repeated myself, but I need to be clear on this. Ashley, a woman dumped about 4 times this season, wants to give her final two contestants another chance to dump her. I thought America had problems.